Espresso Shots of Wisdom
“My definition of wisdom is knowing the long-term consequences of your actions.”
The traits of ‘discipline, perseverance and patience coupled with an attitude that values long term progress over short time gratification’ are held on a pedestal in modern society, and rightly so, but there is a caveat.
In order to be effective they must be focused on pursuits and activities which net a long term profit in terms or health, happiness, wealth or relationships.
“What you want is to have a disciplined routine that's predictable and bloody well stick to it. You're going to be way healthier, happier, and saner if you do that.”
Although advertisers and social media influencers sell the dream of ‘over-night success’ and the ‘magic formula’, the key to a solid health foundation and consistent progression towards our goals is a clearly defined routine focusing on high impact tasks that lie comfortably within our personal stress tolerance.
Most of my major progressions in life have happened during ‘Monk Mode’ where I have a set schedule and worked relentlessly and ruthlessly to implement this routine. Ironically, as Jocko Willink espouses, this ‘Discipline equals Freedom’.
“Success is actually a short race—a sprint fueled by discipline just long enough for habit to kick in and take over.”
Research shows that building a habit can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days with the time increasing as the difficulty and complexity of the task increases. As the days tick by, the resistance to the task, and therefore the discipline required to undertake it decreases, until the process is embedded within our normal practices.
At this point, the new habit, is simply part of our updated operating system. Discipline, as a result, is a short term sprint for a long term gain!
Cappuccino Contemplations
The key to great leadership lies in great relationships - how do we cultivate, nurture and nourish great relationships in challenging environments?
It starts with entering challenging situations with calmness, empathy and a focus on resolution. This usually means taking the time to answer these questions internally before having a difficult conversation:
Who do I want to be in this situation?
Am I modelling my values?
Restorative Practices are a tool in our leadership and life-skills arsenal to move conversations away from ‘blame and attack to empathy - the heart of difficult conversations’ and to empower all parties to create win/ win situations.
So whether you are in a classroom, boardroom or on a building site these practices will improve relationships exponentially.
Michelle Stowe gives a great introduction to the topic below:
The Spotlight Effect
The Spotlight Effect describes the highly egotistical predisposition of the human mind to assume that we are the star of the show and that people care and intently analyse the things we do and, maybe more importantly, the mistakes we make.
As a result, we tend to make decisions that we feel will impress those around us rather than the decisions that will make our life most fulfilling, enjoyable and meaningful. Put bluntly;
‘We buy things we don’t need, with money we don’t have, to impress people we don’t like.’
Dave Ramsey
The Spotlight Effect is a double edged sword.
On one hand we refuse to publish our newsletter, found a new business or take up a new sport because we fear that we may be ridiculed for our attempts. On the other hand it gives us the freedom to do so, as the reality is that no one really cares what we are up to as they are too concerned with their own lives. This should be the push needed to take the plunge into your next endeavour and live life according to Oscar Wilde’s philosophy:
‘Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.’
Americano And Chill
With the weekend upon us, and having recently found out that Jonny Wilkinson has a podcast, giving his views on moving ‘from fear to freedom, surviving to thriving’, I am looking forward to an Americano and Chill and beginning this series.
Here’s the first episode:
Have a great weekend!
David.
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